5 of 366

It took five days into the new year to look at his facebook profile. Which I only did after looking at Beardman's. I couldn't help it. I just did, and he has a new photo up, and god from one angle he looks so repulsive but then from that one...

I wish he didn't hate me.

I wish we were still friends.

I wish that he believed, as much as I did, that there could have been so much more.

Mom said I'd have a hole from where he was for a long time, and she's right. I'm going to miss him for a while yet. It's going to take more than a Thanksgiving fling, or a summer romance, to get rid of the residue he's left behind. It'll take more than busying myself, deleting his number, moving on, to forget about him at all.

I wish things were a lot easier. I wish I could erase him from me, so that I may have a spotless mind. And not the land-mine that it is today.